We’re Back, Baby! (Not Really…)

Burning with the vigor of a Russian boxer...

Congratulations everyone! The termite problem that has plagued our offices for the passed year and a half is finally gone. This means we can get back to work as usual.  We really appreciate you sticking it out with us.  Unfortunately, our email server went down around August, and so we weren’t able to reply to or even read, what was no doubt a cavalcade of emails wondering what had happened.

In this industry (the internet) things happen so fast, and believe us when we say that if we had known we were going to get a termite infestation, we would have told you.  Regardless, it happened, it’s behind us and we’re ready to start anew!

We’ve had a number of projects in the pipeline, hoping to make a big spash upon our return, so you’ll find that over the course of the next couple weeks some big and exciting things will be premiered right here on the site. Without spoiling anything, let me just say that Drago is going two-point-oh!!  Brand new articles, a very special Drago-Effect podcast, completely revamped Banana page, and even some hilarious videos!

It’s going to be great, and we can’t wait to show it all to you!

Oh, and if you never hear from us again, it means they found more termites.

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An Author’s Broken Heart…

BrokenHeart

I understand that the subject of this piece may sound bitter, and off-putting, and I assure you, that is intentional. Why do I seem to be so heart broken? The weather is nice outside. It’s Friday! Well, please allow me to tell you why I’m so upset, through the power of Grammy Award Nominated* Album cover art!

[*Note: For the sake of ease, I’ll be focusing only on winners, because lists of the winners are much easier to find.]

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DIY: How To Squander Your Own Work Potential

An Office

Are you tired of people constantly congratulating you, or celebrating your achievements? Well I know for a long time I was. “Fantastic work on that MXI presentation,” they’d say. “Your analytical graphics were exceptional.” Ugh. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Luckily, I took action. Tired of being relied upon and revered by my peers, I took on the task of creating a full-proof plan, to squander my own potential.
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I Bet You’re Wondering…

Embarrassed

… what happened yesterday. We brag about being “The Most Trustworthy Site On The Interweb™” but yet two of our most prolific and devout posters, xPostFacto and myself, were unable to post anything for your literary pleasure. Well I’m not gonna shrug the responsibility, and I’m not gonna lie to you, but seriously…

… it was all xPostFacto’s fault.

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Science Reveals!: “Is Sleep Overrated?”

Science

New theories on sleep deprivation may significantly alter the world’s perception on common sleeping habits.

(Crandon, Missouri) Let it never be said that scientists are merely Earth-clutching, goggle wearing, lab lovers, because a breakthrough study in sleep dynamics has possibly revealed shocking new evidence in favor of insomniacs everywhere!

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America’s First Trustworthy Swindler

HazmatBorn in 1866, Darvishim Hazmat was a noteworthy entrepreneur during the late 19th century. He is most closely associated with his ambitious attempt to move, famous New York City road, Broadway, nine and a half blocks South to it’s current position near Times Square.

Hazmat has been the inspiration for numerous films such as: “Bullets Over Broadway”(1994), “Aviator Shorty”(1937), and “SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2” (2004). Despite his acclaim, Hazmat is often over looked by history, and his memory has become nothing more than camp fire fodder, and a nightmare-inducing bed time story. The reason for this is closely tied to his enigmatic persona, which left many questions about his life unanswered… until now…

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How to: Write Your First Pulitzer Prize Winning Article

Pulitzer Prize

“The page is blank. At first. I sat with my hands, ever so slightly, draped across the keyboard. Hesitant. Short sentences. The tip of the cigarette burns. I’m not a smoker. Not normally. Not usually. But today, I lit one up. I’m not ashamed, because the only reason I did it was to mention it in this article. To create an image. A writer’s image…

Now, more than ever, it was 1994.”

What does any of the above mean to you? If you said nothing, then you’re already halfway to winning your first Pulitzer.

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